For people with anxious attachment patterns in particular, breakups can feel excruciating. Letting go of someone you love goes against everything your nervous system is wired to do. Your whole system screams hold on tighter, don’t let go, fix this at all costs. So today, I want to walk you through five common ways people unknowingly keep themselves stuck after a breakup—and what to do instead—so you can use this moment as a turning point rather than a repeat of old patterns.

“If They Wanted To, They Would” — Is It Really That Simple?