One of the most painful stories we can get stuck in after a relationship ends is this one: “If they really loved me, they would have changed.” This episode was prompted by a question I received on Instagram from someone who couldn’t stop replaying that exact thought about their ex. And if you’ve ever found yourself spiralling around why wouldn’t they change for me?, you’re far from alone. It’s a deeply convincing story — but it’s also one that quietly keeps us stuck in self-blame, unworthiness, and patterns of self-abandonment. Let’s unpack what’s really going on beneath it.

#230: How Do I Know My New Partner Will Be Better Than My Last One? (Ask Steph)