If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “I feel amazing when I’m single—confident, grounded, totally in control. But the moment I start dating someone I actually like, I spiral into a ball of anxiety”… you’re not alone. This is one of the most common questions I hear: why do we feel secure when we’re single, but suddenly anxious when we enter the dating arena? The short answer? It makes perfect sense. And once you understand why this happens, you can begin to soften the self-judgment and support yourself through it.

We often talk about self-care, emotional intelligence, and regulation—but what if the missing piece is learning how your unique nervous system actually works? In a recent conversation with Alyssa Blask Campbell—author of Tiny Humans, Big Emotions and Big Kids, Bigger Feelings—we explored how tuning into your nervous system can completely transform the way you show up as both a partner and a parent. Alyssa’s work centers on raising emotionally intelligent kids, but as she points out, these insights apply to all of our relationships.