In today's episode, I'm sharing some reflections from my recent experience of pregnancy and birth on self-trust, control and surrender. These are themes that most folks with insecure attachment patterns struggle with, and learning to trust in your capacity to navigate life's ups and downs with confidence and agency is a huge step on the path to building secure attachment.
In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts on how to navigate a partner pulling away. If you're someone with anxious attachment patterns, a partner's withdrawal or disengagement can feel extremely distressing - and yet, many of our go-to strategies for managing that distress can ironically have the effect of pushing someone further away.
In today's episode, we're talking all about self-soothing and anxious attachment. For most anxiously attached folks, self-soothing and self-regulation can be a real struggle. This typically shows up as an over-reliance on others (often a partner) to be our sole source of safety and reassurance when we experience emotional distress, and an accompanying sense of helplessness and panic if and when they are not available to perform that role.
In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts about trust, risk and vulnerability. Many of us would prefer to trust only when we've completely de-risked or have some semblance of certainty that we won't get hurt, but unfortunately this is entirely at odds with the inherent vulnerability of trust.
In today's episode, we're unpacking three relationship superpowers (which frankly are also life superpowers!). These are the skills and mindset pieces that I wish for everyone to be cultivating as they walk the path of becoming more secure in themselves and in their partnerships.
In today's episode, we're talking all about the importance of self-care in a relationship, and how prioritising self-care can (somewhat counterintuitively) be far more nourishing and constructive for the relationship than being overly focused on the relationship itself.
In today's episode, we're talking all about emotional availability. Emotional availability is one of those terms that is thrown around a lot on social media - and it seems like everybody is on the lookout for the "emotionally unavailable" people that are to be avoided at all costs. But as always, I think it's important to approach these conversations with nuance and curiosity, before slapping labels on others and declaring them to be the problem. As we discuss in this episode, our focus on others' emotional unavailability can often mask the parts of us that are hiding behind inauthenticity.
In today's episode, I'm sharing 10 tips to start healing your anxious attachment style. While "healing" is not something that really lends itself to a formula or a 10-step plan, having guided thousands of students through the process of healing their anxious attachment I can certainly attest to the key growth areas for most folks with anxious attachment patterns.
In today's episode, we're talking all about people-pleasing: what it is, why we do it, and how it's different to "just being a nice person". For many of us, people pleasing is second nature. We are so accustomed to accommodating others and burying our own feelings and needs that we don't even realise we're doing it.
In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts on the common question of why those with anxious attachment patterns are typically attracted to those with avoidant attachment patterns (and vice versa). As we know, this is a very common relationship pairing - which can be confusing when you feel like the challenges of that dynamic are at odds with your preferences and desires.
In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts around anxious attachment & open relationships. While not being my personal experience, this is an area I receive a lot of requests and questions around, as various non-monogamous relationship structures grow in popularity.
In today’s episode, we’re talking all about attachment styles and break-ups. While of course, break-ups are messy, personal and far from formulaic, there are undeniably certain themes in how our break-ups feel that can be traced to our attachment patterns.
Is your anxiety getting the better of you in the early stages of dating? Well, take a deep breath and let's journey together through this episode where we unravel the common anxieties in early dating, particularly for those with an anxious attachment style.
In today's Q&A episode, I'm answering the question of "Can a relationship between two anxiously attached people work?". I get variations of this question a lot - basically, why wouldn't anxious and avoidant people save themselves the trouble by sticking to their own kind? Well, as always, it's not quite that simple...
In today's Q&A episode, I'm answering the question of how to navigate an all-consuming fear & paranoia around a partner cheating - particularly in circumstances where that fear is seemingly unwarranted.
In today's episode, I'm speaking with Sarah Baldwin - a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and Trauma Coach who is trained in Polyvagal interventions and is on the training team at the Polyvagal Institute. Sarah specialises in somatic trauma healing, attachment work, parts and inner child work and nervous system regulation.
In this Q&A episode, I'm speaking to the common conundrum of what to do when you're feeling stuck in your relationship. This often happens when we've been trying for some time to make changes (or hoping that our partner will make changes), but we're just not seeing any progress. I'll share an unexpected way that you can shift out of low self-worth and hopelessness, and into a more empowered, self-confident state that will allow you to navigate whatever is happening in your relationship with clarity & trust.
In today's Q&A episode, I'm answering the question of how to bring up wanting to move in together with an avoidant partner. This episode will be super helpful for anyone in this same situation, or who is otherwise wanting to have a "what are we?" type chat with their avoidant partner.
In anticipation of the upcoming launch of my signature program Healing Anxious Attachment, today's episode is all about what changes you can expect as you heal your anxious attachment. I'll be sharing 6 shifts that you'll notice as you do the healing work and become more secure within yourself and in your relationships.
In today's episode, we're talking about the difference between privacy and secrecy. Depending on where you sit on the attachment spectrum, you may have a complicated relationship with privacy - both your own and others'. We'll discuss where the line is between privacy and secrecy, and what to do if you find other people's privacy uncomfortable or triggering.
In today's episode, I'm sharing 5 ways to support a partner with a fearful avoidant (AKA disorganised) attachment style. The fearful avoidant attachment style is often considered the most complex and challenging of the attachment styles, characterised by a conflicting push-pull between wanting intimacy and fearing it.
In this episode, I'm answering the question of "I'm anxious, he's avoidant. Is it weird that I want more sex than him?"
In today's Q&A episode, I'm sharing tips for initiating hard conversations with an avoidant partner. This is a question I get a lot - how to express needs to an avoidant partner, how to set boundaries, how to share feedback. These conversations are already intimidating for many anxiously attached folks, and when combined with the sensitivities of the avoidant partner, can be a perfect storm.
In today's Q&A episode, I'm answering the question of "My ex moved on immediately post break-up and I can't help but take it personally." This is a really common pain point for people post-break-up, so don't beat yourself up if you're in this situation (or have been there in the past!)
In this week's Q&A episode, I'm answering a community question about the (very common) tendency to lose oneself as an anxiously attached person in relationships. I'll talk through why this happens so often and easily, and what you can do to counter it.
We often speak about the many ways in which anxious and avoidantly attached people differ in their relationship styles. But in this episode, I'm flipping the script and highlighting some similarities between these so-called conflicting styles. We cover relationship fears, boundaries, vulnerability, conflict and more - and my hope is that you'll walk away with a greater capacity to approach yourself and the people in your life with curiosity and compassion.
In this episode, I'm answering the community question of "I used to be anxiously attached, but after discovering my husband's infidelity, I find myself being avoidant with potential new partners. How do I find the healthy middle ground?" We talk about changing attachment styles, fear, betrayal and how we can start to create more safety more ourselves after we've been hurt.